Archives for posts with tag: dating

We are told our whole lives when we want something go out and get it. If you want something enough and you put in the work you can accomplish anything you desire. Is it the same for love?

Are we supposed to be out there looking and going on dates and constantly on the prowl or are we supposed to sit back and not worry and when we are ready love will come to us? There doesn’t seem to be a right answer.

I know for me, when I wasn’t technically searching (though lets be real my eyes were always open) I found who I want to be with. But I don’t think it’s that simple.

I have 2 ladies in my life, both around the same age, both wanting a relationship and a family and at the end of the day love, taking completely different paths and yet neither has found it yet. The one lady goes on dates, has a great social life, is on every online dating site there is and has even recently hired a matchmaker. The other, the opposite, goes to work, has a smaller social circle, doesn’t put herself out there, doesn’t flirt, maybe in some people’s opinions not really trying at all. But who is doing it right if neither is any closer to finding love?

Love can’t find you in your bedroom in the book you’re reading but I also don’t think guys like to see a girl that is so desperate to find a guy. There needs to be some sort of balance. Maybe once we find the balance and are happy with us that is when love finds us.

L

The other day I was sitting on the couch with the man, flicking through things on my iPad and somehow landed on the Cosmopolitan website. Oh wonderful, I thought, there are ideas on how to make your sex life more exciting. And oh boy, look at that, there is a quiz to tell you how exciting it is now! Well I should have just stopped there.

The quiz asked different questions about your previous sexual experiences. I was zero for five. He was five for five. And again, should have just stopped.

And yet, I continued. Why do we do this?

Why did I NEED to ask him who he had done question 1 with and where had he done question 2 and did he like question 3 and so on. In the moment I thought, no harm, he is with me. So wrong. The questions were answered, though I did have to force them out of him, and I instantly started stewing.

But I had no right. He even said, you don’t want to know the answers to these, but I pushed. Stupid girl move.  Why do we ask questions that really don’t matter and then be upset with the answer? Do we really think that before they met us they were innocent little creatures that never did anything sexy with the ex’s. NO. He isn’t 16. He lived and loved before me.

But, now I know, or at least I am more aware. At the end of the day I am a curious girl and this is probably going to happen again as much as I’d rather it not, if we don’t want to hear the honest answer, then don’t ask the freaking question ladies.

L

Am I the only one with a friend who everytime she opens her mouth to tell you about her latest escapade in the dating world you just want to shake her? Why is the female population crazy?  We are pushing men away and then crying when they leave. 

B is the definition of crazy girl. Don’t get me wrong, I love the girl, she has the biggest heart and it is entertaining hearing her stories and the way she views dating but she is certifiably relationship C-R-A-Z-Y!

And in honor of the beautiful B, I am going to throw out just a few quick tips of what not to do if you want a natural unforced love.

– do not have your wedding dress, flowers, venue and childrens names picked out after your absolutely amazing best first date ever
– do not, while in a drunken stooper and after two dates, tell all your friends how much he loves you and how he is absolutely perfect while he is within earshot, you will never hear from him again after he gets the sex he came over for
– do be honest with who you are. If you like sitting in your living room, smoking your face off, having a glass of wine and watching Real Housewives, be proud, just don’t expect him to join you for your Thursday night fun
– try, as best you can, to call him by the right name
– do not think he is the best listener in the whole wide world, because he stayed quiet while you talked for 2 hours about how your ex screwed you over but you are so “over it” and so ready for your Prince Charming. You aren’t ready and he isn’t a good listener, he is bored as hell and thinking he would rather be watching the hockey game but that he deserves a bj, and will get one, for sitting there that long

Stop trying so hard ladies, love comes. Just need to be patient, we all know it is worth it.

L