Archives for posts with tag: questions

The other day I was sitting on the couch with the man, flicking through things on my iPad and somehow landed on the Cosmopolitan website. Oh wonderful, I thought, there are ideas on how to make your sex life more exciting. And oh boy, look at that, there is a quiz to tell you how exciting it is now! Well I should have just stopped there.

The quiz asked different questions about your previous sexual experiences. I was zero for five. He was five for five. And again, should have just stopped.

And yet, I continued. Why do we do this?

Why did I NEED to ask him who he had done question 1 with and where had he done question 2 and did he like question 3 and so on. In the moment I thought, no harm, he is with me. So wrong. The questions were answered, though I did have to force them out of him, and I instantly started stewing.

But I had no right. He even said, you don’t want to know the answers to these, but I pushed. Stupid girl move.  Why do we ask questions that really don’t matter and then be upset with the answer? Do we really think that before they met us they were innocent little creatures that never did anything sexy with the ex’s. NO. He isn’t 16. He lived and loved before me.

But, now I know, or at least I am more aware. At the end of the day I am a curious girl and this is probably going to happen again as much as I’d rather it not, if we don’t want to hear the honest answer, then don’t ask the freaking question ladies.

L

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Can it be forced? Can you make someone love you?

Don’t we all do that? At least at the start of a relationship, put on the coat of the person we think the other wants us to be. But when does it end? When do you just be you and they be them and you love each other for the goods and the bads. When do you know it is okay to let go and just ride the ride? When do you know that you are safe and they love you?

I don’t know how to figure this out, no clue. I used to think I had it figured out, relationships all drive along a similar course but I have recently realized this is not the case. Some move snail pace, some move speed of light fast, I am closer to the snail and I don’t like it. I need to know where I stand, where we are going. I love but do you love me back? It’s been almost a year, do you know how to communicate.

Maybe one day I will figure this all out, which is why I am here. I need somewhere to talk to. Somewhere to write down the funny stories, the annoying habits, the questions I have about love, throw it out to the internet universe so I can stop annoying my friends with the same feelings all the time. We shall see how this goes I guess.

L