Archives for posts with tag: relationships

The other day I was sitting on the couch with the man, flicking through things on my iPad and somehow landed on the Cosmopolitan website. Oh wonderful, I thought, there are ideas on how to make your sex life more exciting. And oh boy, look at that, there is a quiz to tell you how exciting it is now! Well I should have just stopped there.

The quiz asked different questions about your previous sexual experiences. I was zero for five. He was five for five. And again, should have just stopped.

And yet, I continued. Why do we do this?

Why did I NEED to ask him who he had done question 1 with and where had he done question 2 and did he like question 3 and so on. In the moment I thought, no harm, he is with me. So wrong. The questions were answered, though I did have to force them out of him, and I instantly started stewing.

But I had no right. He even said, you don’t want to know the answers to these, but I pushed. Stupid girl move.  Why do we ask questions that really don’t matter and then be upset with the answer? Do we really think that before they met us they were innocent little creatures that never did anything sexy with the ex’s. NO. He isn’t 16. He lived and loved before me.

But, now I know, or at least I am more aware. At the end of the day I am a curious girl and this is probably going to happen again as much as I’d rather it not, if we don’t want to hear the honest answer, then don’t ask the freaking question ladies.

L

Am I the only one with a friend who everytime she opens her mouth to tell you about her latest escapade in the dating world you just want to shake her? Why is the female population crazy?  We are pushing men away and then crying when they leave. 

B is the definition of crazy girl. Don’t get me wrong, I love the girl, she has the biggest heart and it is entertaining hearing her stories and the way she views dating but she is certifiably relationship C-R-A-Z-Y!

And in honor of the beautiful B, I am going to throw out just a few quick tips of what not to do if you want a natural unforced love.

– do not have your wedding dress, flowers, venue and childrens names picked out after your absolutely amazing best first date ever
– do not, while in a drunken stooper and after two dates, tell all your friends how much he loves you and how he is absolutely perfect while he is within earshot, you will never hear from him again after he gets the sex he came over for
– do be honest with who you are. If you like sitting in your living room, smoking your face off, having a glass of wine and watching Real Housewives, be proud, just don’t expect him to join you for your Thursday night fun
– try, as best you can, to call him by the right name
– do not think he is the best listener in the whole wide world, because he stayed quiet while you talked for 2 hours about how your ex screwed you over but you are so “over it” and so ready for your Prince Charming. You aren’t ready and he isn’t a good listener, he is bored as hell and thinking he would rather be watching the hockey game but that he deserves a bj, and will get one, for sitting there that long

Stop trying so hard ladies, love comes. Just need to be patient, we all know it is worth it.

L

Can it be forced? Can you make someone love you?

Don’t we all do that? At least at the start of a relationship, put on the coat of the person we think the other wants us to be. But when does it end? When do you just be you and they be them and you love each other for the goods and the bads. When do you know it is okay to let go and just ride the ride? When do you know that you are safe and they love you?

I don’t know how to figure this out, no clue. I used to think I had it figured out, relationships all drive along a similar course but I have recently realized this is not the case. Some move snail pace, some move speed of light fast, I am closer to the snail and I don’t like it. I need to know where I stand, where we are going. I love but do you love me back? It’s been almost a year, do you know how to communicate.

Maybe one day I will figure this all out, which is why I am here. I need somewhere to talk to. Somewhere to write down the funny stories, the annoying habits, the questions I have about love, throw it out to the internet universe so I can stop annoying my friends with the same feelings all the time. We shall see how this goes I guess.

L